Buy a Dog

buy a dog

If you want someone who will bring you the paper,
without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself
simply over the joy of seeing you:

If you want someone who will eat
whatever you put in front of him
and never says its not quite as good as his mother made:


If you want someone always willing to go out,
at any hour, for as long and wherever you want:


If you want someone who will never touch the remote,
doesn't give a darn about football,
and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies:

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed,
just to warm your feet, and whom you can push off if he snores:

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do,
who doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly:


If you want someone who doesn't care
if you are fat or thin, young or old:


If you want someone who acts as if every word you say
is especially worthy of listening to and loves you unconditionally

But, on the other hand,
If you want someone who will never come when you call,
ignores you totally when you come home,
leaves hair all over the place,
walks all over you,
runs around all night
and only comes home to eat and sleep,
and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness:


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